I write to tell my soul that you have the possibility of not being alone. I write to allow my inner voice to come out, so I can see it, touch it, and maybe understand it. I write so as to feel the limits of my being and to see where it intersects with other beings, somewhat like Venn diagrams. I write to allow the air to come in to my hidden wounds to avoid spiritual gangrene. I write to find love; to find my soul mate…
It happened for the first time almost thirty years ago, at the age of 11. I was laying in my bed just about to sleep, and then suddenly sat and received few words. I say 'received' because I am not sure I had total control over the process that brought these words to my tongue and lips:
I will read and dissolve in the meaning of reading,
I will write and dissolve my ideas in the tunes of my poetry,
And I will sing for the joyful nightingale to forget my sorrows…
And I will be happy for death is the wedding of every human being…
It felt good, magical, unexplainable… where exactly did these words come from, and how did they surface or appear suddenly to the realm of consciousness…
Now after so many years, I say that these words were brought to me by the flicker of wings of a mystical butterfly, and my young soul resonated with the waves…
Many things happened since then… and I moved from the land of boyhood to the domain of men… too soon I must add,
And events that occurred almost made me mad…
Three bullets hit me when I was fifteen,
The pain was unbearable,
Difficult for you to know what I mean…
I was tortured on my wounds when I was sixteen,
They whipped me with electrical wiring,
Put me in a room full of sewage,
But I came out clean!
Many things happened since then, in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and in 2010...
The future is already here…
This might sound crazy or queer…
I write to calm my fear
Of history repeating itself,
And that I won't have enough stitches for new wounds,
Or strong legs faster than bullets,
And seconds that last longer than minutes…!
